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    Introduction

    Diminishing Returns

    Get Over It


    Why You're Still Single is not about chasing men, so you will not need a butterfly net. It is not about making them chase you, because they are not wolves and you are not a bunny. We will not suggest that you treat men like hostile alien presences, pretend you don't understand football, buy padded bras, or refuse to call people back. But the benefit of other people's experience might point out a few things that are tripping you up, no matter how much of an amazing, smart, hot, totally worthwhile ass-kicker you may be as a general rule.

    Go here for more about our philosophy.

    We recommend: Honesty (usually), playing fair, shutting up (sometimes), speaking up (other times), respecting that voice in your head that says "You're doing WHAT?", making compromises, knowing when to cut bait, good sex, giving yourself a break, being needlessly generous, and periodically leaving your apartment.
    We don't recommend: Pretending to like what you don't like, treating winking and giggling like a Get Out Of Jail Free card, testing people, stubbornness, martyrdom, talking everything to death, and convincing yourself that you're desperate.

Welcome to the Why You're Still Single Quizmaster 5000. This quiz has two sections.

Section 1: Matching

1. The root of Evan's philosophy of conflict resolution

2. According to a friend of Linda's, all men secretly believe it was written about them

3. A friend of Evan's made a deal-breaker out of a guy's lack of interest in this

4. Linda compares her beliefs about getting over arguments to this urban legend

5. High-school health class gave Evan an unhealthy fear of this

6. Evan: "When it comes to sex -- especially sex with someone new -- men can be ________."

7. Linda: "Being against lying is like being against _______."

8. Linda bears a grudge against this

9. Evan's high-school friend once told him this

10. Linda compares a too-eager hunt for a boyfriend to this

 

a. Cher

b. hallucinating about spiders

c. "The Gambler," by Kenny Rogers

d. hypocritical morons

e. "If you swallow gum, it stays in your stomach forever"

f. the bank

g. "Desperado," by The Eagles

h. "I want to date a guy just like you. But not you."

i. Playing Atari Pitfall!

j. Disco

Answers: 1-c; 2-g; 3-a; 4-e; 5-b; 6-d; 7-j; 8-f; 9-h; 10-i

Section 2: True/False

1. The best way to change the fundamental nature of someone's personality is through exhaustive discussion.

2. Men suck.

3. Women don't care about sex; they only care about emotional intimacy, unless there's something wrong with them

4. Talking during a walk or a game of Trivial Pursuit can be just as useful as sitting down and giving the conversation your full attention.

5. If at first a guy rejects you, try, try again.

6. Men who are stoic are unlikely to become men who talk about their feelings a lot.

7. Caring about the way people look is shallow -- physical attraction isn't an issue if you're a person of substance.

8. If you're special and valuable, men are going to find you, so there's no need to go out looking for them.

9. Flirting with other women in front of you is not a sign of potential infidelity and is not about the guy's level of respect for you.

10. If the guy is the right guy, you will like immediately bond with his friends, and they will do the same with you.

Answers

1. False. This is a trick question. There is no best way to change the fundamental nature of someone's personality. 2. False. If you don't know this already, why are you trying to meet one? 3. False. Obviously. 4. True. Not all conversation has to come from Big Talks. 5. False. If you still believe this, you won't by the time you're about thirty. 6. True. A stoic is a stoic, and a soft touch is a soft touch. You can choose either, but don't expect anyone to be both. 7. False. People care. They have vastly different ideas of what they like and how flexible they are, but even people of substance do and should expect to be attracted to the person they fall in love with. 8. False. Men don't live in your apartment. If you're staying in a lot, you can't meet anyone at all, let alone anyone promising. 9. True. Flirts are flirts. It doesn't necessarily mean a thing. 10. False. You're not necessarily going to love the gang of friends on the first try, so give it time.